Christmas alone
by CharlieWise
Summary: "Spending Christmas alone means that nobody loves you." Brennan hear her dad's voice ego in her head. Logically she knew that that wasn't true. But at the moment it felt true.  BB don't worry.


**A/N: I don't want to step on anyone's toes. I used Booth's religion in this story. I respect everyone's believes but I'm not sure in what I believe. So I apologize if I made a mistake about the service or any other part of your religion. It was not my intention to disgrace it in any kind. **

**I hope you enjoy this little Christmas story.**

Brennan looked around her apartment. There was a small tree in the corner, the one her dad made her buy. They were planning to spent Christmas at her place again this year. Only this time Russ, Amy and the girls would come too. At least that was the plan. She had just hung up the phone, it had been Russ again. Their flight was delayed till after Christmas and since Dad had flown out there a week earlier she was looking at a Christmas alone.

"_Spending Christmas alone means that nobody loves you." _Brennan hear her dad's voice ego in her head. Logically she knew that that wasn't true. But at the moment it felt true, Angela and Hodgins were celebrating with Angela's dad. Sweets and Daisy were just spending the day in bed. Cam and Michelle were off to Hawaii. Booth said he had plans with Parker and probable also with Hannah. Cam had closed of the lab so she also couldn't go to work. The paperwork she brought was finished and lay on her desk.

Sighing she got off the couch and moved towards the fridge to find something to eat and maybe a good wine. She felt a small stab in her heart when she opened the fridge only to find a turkey and all the side dishes she planned on making the next day. She shoved the things aside to find something to eat what wouldn't cost too much time. Only to find a microwave dinner that was over date. She threw it in the trash before moving on to her cabinets where she finally settled for a sandwich.

She sat down behind her computer and opened her document that contained her latest book. But for some reason the words wouldn't come. She tried but nothing sounded right. To forced or too cliché. Her sandwich lay long forgotten next her computer as she turned on her favorite radio-station only to be greeted with Christmas songs that were cut for child's Christmas wishes that the station was trying to make happen.

'_I wish to see the big Christmas three'_ Was a wish of Tommy Lash.

'_I wish I to celebrate Christmas at home with my family' _Was wished for by Natalie Denim.

'_I wish my mom could be home for Christmas' _Was the wish of Jeffrey Gospel.

'_I wish for my dad to get better' _Was asked for by Denny Grass.

'_I wish my friend to have a better life' _Was what Jaime Deli asked for.

'_I wish that you could make sure that no one is alone with the Christmas days'_ Was the wish of Ciril Devon.

Brennan snorted at that last one. No one to be alone at Christmas, the world was a cruel place. Christmas wasn't a magical day of some sort. It the grand scheme of things it was just another day to spent alone. I won't change just because it was Christmas, that Santa could magically make it happen. It didn't happen 19 years ago it won't happen now. Brennan thought back at Christmas eve all those years ago. Alone in the house with Russ with no idea where her parents were. Shuffling upstairs, her heart heavy of crying. Lying awake for hours hoping to hear their car crisping the snow beneath the wheels as they rode up the drive way. Listening for a sound that never came.

Brennan looked down at the clock on her computer screen. She let out another sigh as she noticed there was only a little over an hour left of Christmas eve. She shut down her laptop and walked towards the kitchen to threw away what was left of her sandwich. She'd just shut off the lights of the kitchen as there was a knock on her door. She flipped the light back on and walked towards the door and looked through the peephole. She couldn't really see anything and opened the door carefully.

"Hey Dr Bones." Parker said as he hugged her around her middle. "Merry almost Christmas." He said enthusiastically, with a smile on his face she recognized. She normally saw it in an older version but it was still the same. And when she looked up she saw the smile she'd just recognized in the little boy. Only it seemed a little unsure of itself. Not that she could really tell.

"Hey Bones." He said softly.

"Hey." She almost whispered back before she turned back to Parker. "Merry almost Christmas to you too Parker."

Booth shifted from one feet to another. Not having predicated that he would be this nervous, mostly because it was ridiculous that he was nervous in the first place. They were partners. "Uhm Bones, sorry to barge in on you like this, but Parker and I wanted to ask… or were wondering if… maybe you would like to come… or more like accompany us too… I mean…"

Parker clearly finding that his dad was taking too long. "Bones would you come with us to Christmas mass?"

"Uh," Brennan was stunned as she looked from Parker to his father. "You want me to come to church with you?"

"Yes, we would both like it if you came with us." Booth said with an almost shy smile.

"But you never let me come to church with you." Brennan said.

"That's not true. I took you with me a few years ago."

"But you always get mad if I bring up your beliefs."

"No Bones, I get mad when you insult my beliefs."

"But I'm not dressed to go to a church." Brennan said running out of reasons not to go.

"So change." Booth said mentioning with his hand to the general way to her bedroom.

"Please Dr. Bones." Parker said getting tired of his dad's and Brennan's discussion.

"Give me 5 minutes." Brennan said as she walked back into her apartment and left the door open so Parker and Booth could come in.

Brennan was confused as she walked into her bedroom and towards her closet. Why were they here. Where was Hannah? She picked out a knee length black dress with a completely clothed halter neck and bare shoulders. She picked out one of her black heels and looked into the mirror. She looked okay, but her hair was a mess. She grabbed her brush and brushed her hair quickly before binding it in a knot. Letting only her bangs and a few stray hairs fall in front of her face. Redoing her make-up a little and she was back in the living room where Booth was waiting for her.

"Where is Parker?"

"Bathroom." Booth responded barely as he took her in, just as beautiful as ever.

"Where is Hannah?" She asked in her normal blunt way.

"I'm ready." Parker said coming back in the room.

Booth looked at Parkers happy grin and smiled at Brennan. "Let's go."

Brennan moved towards the door, where she was met with Booth hand on the small of her back as he pulled the door close after her. "Can we talk about that later?" He asked.

Brennan looked up to him, not understanding why he wasn't forthcoming about Hannah's whereabouts. Noticing that she really didn't care she dropped the subject for the moment and just ever so slightly leaned back against Booth hand.

-(BB)-

They arrived at the church a little past half past 12. Booth's Priest was standing at the door opening greeting all his guests. The man must have been way past his seventies but he still greeted everyone with his name.

Parker ran up to the man and greeted him just as he had Bones half an hour ago. "Merry almost Christmas."

"The same to you Parker." The man smiled down at Parker. "Were is that father of yours?"

"There!" Parker said pointing at where Booth and Bones were looking at the snow-covered church. "Dad!" Parker yelled and Booth looked down to find his son waving him over. He gave a little pressure on Brennan's back and she looked down to see Parker too as they walked over to the boy and the priest together.

"Father Kinsley, I hope all is well." Booth said.

"Everything is well, and who have you brought with you Seeley?" Father Kinsley asked.

"Father, I would like you to meet my partner; Temperance Brennan." Booth said mentioning to Brennan before mentioning to the priest. "Bones, I would like you to meet Father Kinsley."

Brennan extended a hand and shook Father Kinsley's hand. "It's an honor to meet you Father." Brennan said, knowing how much this mend to Booth.

"The honor is all mine Temperance and I would like to welcome you to the congregation."

"Oh I'm sorry Father but I'm not joining your church." Brennan said and she felt Booth's hand contrast a little.

"My dear, that's not what I meant. Just wanted to welcome you in our mitts for tonight."

"Thank you." Brennan said looking at Booth for a second who gave her a supportive smile.

"We'll find our places." Booth said as he nodded to the priest and they moved inside the church. They hang their coats up at the rack and moved further into the church and slid into a row halfway in the church.

"Dad I need to use the bathroom." Parker said.

"Again? Buddy no big milkshakes for you anymore." Booth said chuckling as he mentioned for Parker to go.

"Booth?" Brennan asked as she looked around the church.

"Yeah?"

"You never did answer my question." Brennan said moving her attention from the church too Booth.

Booth looked at Brennan, she deserved an answer. He let go off a sigh "I don't really have time right now to explain since mass is going to start in a few minutes, but it's over." Booth said.

"I'm sorry Booth, I know she meant a lot to you." Brennan said softly and put her hand on his arm.

'_Someone else meant more to me' _Booth thought. "Thanks Bones."

They sat in silence till Parker came back and started in a long explanation of what he was going to do for Christmas. After another few minutes the organ started to play and everyone stood up. Parker grabbed his songbook and opened it, Booth didn't need it any more as the church choir started singing _O Come All Ye Faithful! _

_O Come All Ye Faithful  
Joyful and triumphant,  
O come ye, O come ye to Bethlehem.  
Come and behold Him,  
Born the King of Angels;  
O come, let us adore Him,  
O come, let us adore Him,  
O come, let us adore Him,  
Christ the Lord._

The song filled the church as the first altar boys moved through the church all the way to the front. Only Booth sang on autopilot and his mind wasn't with the mass but with what happened four weeks earlier.

"_Seeley, what are your plans for Christmas?" Hannah asked as they eat their dinner._

"_Well Rebecca promised I could take Parker to the midnight mass, past that I don't really know." Booth said not really having thought of it._

"_Well I was thinking maybe we could go on a trip?" Hannah said smiling seductively. "You know just the two of us."_

"_Uhm, I don't know." Booth said standing up to bring his plate to the sink while thinking out loud. "I wasn't here last Christmas, I think I would like too spent it here with my friends and Parker."_

"_With your friends?" Hannah asked._

"_Yeah! I mean it's weird 6 years ago we all got locked into the Jeffersonian and ever since then we kind of spend Christmas together."_

"_Oh." Hannah said softly._

"_I mean, Cam and Sweets weren't there the first few years and there was the year that Angela and Hodgins were off to their cabin. That was the year I brought Bones a Christmas tree in jail. You can't have Christmas without a tree."_

"_You brought a tree to jail?"she asked not believing what came out of his mouth and the smile it brought to his face._

"_Yeah her dad and brother were in there." Booth said. "So do you mind if we just spend Christmas with my friends?"_

"_With your friends or with her?" Hannah asked, she had enough of this. She wanted some clarity with what was going on between them. She'd been the good acceptable girlfriend long enough she wanted some answers._

"_Hannah what do you mean?"Booth asked confused as he turned around from washing his dishes._

_Hannah stood up and moved closer to him. "Do you want to spend Christmas with your friends or with 'your Bones'?" Hannah asked using quotation marks with the words your Bones._

"_Both. Bones is my friend." Booth said not understanding where this all came from._

"_Who would you like to spend Christmas with the most Seeley." Hannah asked._

"_Hannah, what is this all about?" Booth asked._

"_It's always about her. When you come home late and I've dinner for you, you've already eaten. With her! You tell me she needed a break from work, or that she won't eat if you do not pry her away from her bones. You cancel lunch dates because you've to work on a case. When she calls you always pick up, no matter what. But if I call during a meeting you can't pick up. And I've accepted all of that because on the end of the day you come home to me. But when I ask to spend our first Christmas together alone. You say no, because you want to spend it with her!"_

"_Hannah I haven't cheated on you." Booth said not believing she could think that._

"_Oh Seeley I know! You're cheating on her with me!" Hannah yelled._

"_What do you mean?" Booth asked confused._

"_Seeley it's rather simple. With whom do you want to spend Christmas?" Hannah asked._

"_With my friends and my girlfriend."_

"_No Seeley. That's not going to cut it this time."_

"_I don't understand what you want from me."_

"_I want you to CHOOSE me, not her, ME." Hannah said._

"_Hannah this is ridiculous."_

"_No it's not. Seeley it's time for you to make a choice. It's either me or her."_

"_Hannah?" Booth asked softly._

"_No Seeley, choose. Who are you going to spend your time with? Who means the most to you? For who will you always be there? Who do you love more? Me or Temperance."_

_Booth looked up, with sorrow in his eyes. "Don't make me choose."_

"_Why Seeley why wouldn't I make you choose." Hannah asked anger clearly in her voice._

_Booth looked at her, hurt that he was going to hurt somebody he loved, who he saw some kind of future with. _

"_Because I won't choose you." He said softly._

_Hannah gasped, not believing her ears._

"_I'm sorry Hannah, I really am. I love you and I don't want to hurt you, but if you make me choose. I choose Bones."_

_Hannah felled a tear fall from her eyes as she grabbed her purse and stormed out the door._

They had talked after that. Both apologized for their behavior. Hannah for her pushing and Booth for not being able to choose her. Hannah was going to live with her parents till she could move back too Afghanistan. She had her bags packed three days after their fight. Booth had gotten an e-mail that she was back at their old base and that he should love the person he was meant to love. She requested him to not contact her for the time being. Booth had respected her request and even though he felt a small pain the first two nights her came home. There was a weight lifted of his shoulders, not having to juggle feelings around, moving on was not working. He could love someone else? Sure. But he wouldn't love anyone more than he would love the woman standing next to him.

The mass past quickly and soon father Kinsley was ending his service. "Before I would like to end this mass I ask for each of you to take the hand of the person next to you."

Booth opened his hands for the person next to him and for Brennan. Brennan slid her small hand into his much bigger one. As she took Parker's hand she felled Booth entwine their fingers and squeeze her hand. "Close your eyes. So we can sent our thoughts to everyone that isn't here with use. If they're at a different mass, on the street, at home with their family, with friends and especially to the ones that are alone. Sent your thoughts out to those people so they won't be alone just for a moment."

Brennan thought back to earlier this evening. About her thoughts of her childhood Christmas'.

Did Booth sent his thoughts out then too? She felt him squeeze her hand and she squeezed back. She felt Booth move next to her.

"You are not alone this Christmas or any Christmas to come. I promise." Booth whispered.

Brennan opened her eyes to look at him. She grinned at him, for once not disagreeing with him, that he couldn't possible know what was going to happen in the future. "Thank you." She whispered back.

-(BB)-

**A/N: My dear follow FanFiction writers/readers I would like to wish you a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year. May all your problems solve itself, may your dreams grow and come true, may it be the year we finally get some BB loving :P and most of all may it be a great year of stories full inspiration and bound breaking thoughts. **

**Lots of Christmas love **

**CW.**


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